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"At the end of the day, I probably would have chosen to be more protective of my house and not have people live here.".

Although they didn't use their last names and wore party masks in the photographs, the story landed like a bomb in their small community.

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They had good jobs, happy kids, a nice house, and a Volvo in the driveway." Nan interrupts."When it was a bare spot," I say."And your two daughters were bouncing on the bed that night," she remembers. Did I bring my innocent little girls into this house of uncontrolled sexual depravity? I had responded to John and Nan's ad in the —yes, young people, this was in the distant era before sites like Craigslust and Adult Friend Finder, when people actually inked their desires like tattoos onto the skin of dead trees.Nan's ad began: "Spiritual, loving marathon runners looking for loving friends and friendly lovers" and referenced , a word I had never heard before.They lasted about 18 months, Nan says, but it wasn't "sustainable" because Tom wanted Nan to himself. "Sometimes I definitely took my eye off the ball and bankrupted my marriage because of that.…Jen never actually moved in, just settled nearby, and moved on around the same time Tom did because she wanted John to herself—the first taste of the polyagony to come. After Jen, they say, John hooked up with another woman he doesn't want to name. Nan marked time with a guy named Steve and then a handsome party boy named Julio. Sometimes it hurt when I saw him taking his attention off me.… Oh, well."A moment later, another text arrives bearing what is, for Nan, perhaps the harshest judgment of all: "She was a monogamist."But these days, she'd really rather discuss all this on a scientific level.

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